July 15, 2004

the music of the night

I don't know where I heard that phrase, but it seems to apply to tonight. I worked overnights last night, so I got home and to sleep at 10 ish, I woke up at 7 ish, I ran an errand, and then worked on some stuff for my mission trip till my mind told me it was time for a break. After watching a movie and pittling around for a while, I tried to get back to the project, but alas. I could not. So I walked outside, mind you it is 130 in the morning, As I walked outside, the feel of it struck me. The first thing that I thought of was how easy it is to forget the real world when you get caught up with your own little world. So I walked down to the bridge over 40 and watched the cars pass in the night. It seemed like a special moment, be it my mind playing tricks on me or something real, I felt a tug both west and east.

It put my mind to thinking. The west is where I came from, and once I thought it my home. I spent many an hour longing to go back. But now, it is different.
Now I look to my future and I see uncertainty. The future is clouded as to where I shall go from here. I am willing to go anywhere, I just wish I knew. I see many different paths before me, all possible, all call out to me, and yet there is no sign to guide me. In a sense, I know why. And I rest in that knowledge, at least I know why I don't know. The words of Isaiah come to mind, Here am I, Send me.

I am like an eager young soldier who requests of his Lord to be sent out to battle. The Lord responds that He would not turn away such an eager request. And I, like that eager young soldier cry out where am I to be sent? And the silence seems to say, "stay."

Posted by GodzScout at July 15, 2004 02:19 AM