May 27, 2004

idle chat

idiosynchrosy, what is it? I am lonely and as I ponder this state of mine, I follow a stream of thought. Let me unfold it for you:

1. Kung fu class is in Fargo, ND for a seminar. I could not go.
2. Kung fu and work are pretty much my only avenue of social expression if you will.
3. Kung fu was canceled today, and it was my day off.
4. My only family in STL is my brother, who lives a totally different life and is not available to "nurse" my little idiosynchrosy.

So, I was bored all day, I went to work and picked up some stuff, chatted with some friends, got my schedule, and then sat in the parking lot and read until my it was about 7 pm then I went to see a movie (alone, duh). *don't feel sorry for me, it's really not worth it, trust me*

so this little scenario got me thinking. My attachment to people is something that defines me as a person. It is something I have known about for a long time and it seperates me from the rest of my family. My mother and father, and both older brothers are introverts, perfectly happy being alone and quiet. Not me! I can't stand it. I have to be around people, it is my greatest asset and my biggest curse. It is the cause of many a great moment of melencholy. It is one of my idiosynchrosies. That is an interesting word, according to, its etymology is:

"Greek idiosynkrasia, from idio- + synkerannynai to blend, from syn- + kerannynai to mingle, mix -- more at CRATER"

and it means:
"1 a : a peculiarity of constitution or temperament : an individualizing characteristic or quality b : individual hypersensitiveness (as to a drug or food)"

My extreme attachement to people is my idiosynchrosy, and the most likely reason that God makes me be alone so often. People can tend to drown out His voice, and that is why solitude is a very important part of training yourself to be a man/woman of God. Nevertheless, I still find it difficult to be alone. It eats at me. So, pray that God will help me to find contentment in the moments of solitude that He gives me.



Posted by GodzScout at May 27, 2004 11:38 PM