tonight I am restless. I could not stand being bottled up in my apartment any more, so I got in my car and drove west. I got off at chesterfield parkway and just followed my whim. I ended up taking it to baxter and then up to clayton via some local subdivisions with some nice xmas lights up. Then I took Clayton all the way home. It was a nice drive. Before I went home I went to the top of a local parking garage and looked out over stl at night. sometimes it is nice to get some perspective, and getting high up someplace is helpful for doing that. Lately, I find myself needing a lot of time for reflection and perspective is good. A lot of time for prayer, and a lot of time to talk to God. I sometimes wonder if He doesn't allow me to know what He wants for me early, so that I can learn to wait for Him. I don't know. I think back to my life, I see a lot of times when I knew what I was going to do, and where I was going to go early on, but then had to wait in order to do it or go there. *sigh* sometimes waiting to know if I am right or wrong is the hardest thing to do.
The hardest thing is when you eventually have to break down a realize that god doesn't make the decisions. You do. By waiting on god, you are nothing more than a puppet pulling your own strings.
Posted by: Sumit at December 22, 2003 01:19 AMSumit, I am not sure what you mean. What I hear you saying, I disagree with; but, what you could be saying is something else entirely. You are right, God does not make the decisions in my life, I do. However, when I make the decisions in my life without waiting on God then they are generally the wrong decisions. I don't agree that by waiting on God I am nothing more than a puppet pulling my own strings, I am a servant waiting for the command of my King.
Posted by: Read at December 22, 2003 02:44 AMRead, I totally understand your situation. You're in college, right? That's where I'm at right now in my senior year. When things don't work out with a girl or just trying to figure out what I'll be doing after I graduate is some of the hardest stuff to think about right now 'cause I really don't know what's going to happen. Anyway, I right there, too, learning to wait and trust God.
Posted by: Cal at December 22, 2003 01:41 PMAlways wait patiently for Gods timing on everything. You will not be disappointed in any way!!! Serve God and keep your eyes off the circumstances of life, you will find more peace and contentment instead of worrying what will be and not be. Focus on what you do have and how blessed you really are. God has your whole life cupped in his loving,safe,providing hands...why worry;He does not drop us, or we worry we will not have what we want. Trust in Gods plan and Gods plan alone. We never know truly what we want or need, but God ALWAYS knows best!
Jeremiah 29:11